thoughts in the middle of the night.

i just read through almost everyone's blogs. (so free huh?) the more i read, the more i feel that they are really living their lives to the fullest or at least the top. but me? i don't think so. poly life is supposed to be FUN. i need to make what i want to happen, happen. yes, this would be it. well, there's a movie to look forward to, and there's sunday. maybe friday night we'll be having supper and stay out too. the more i think, the more i can't stand it. i seriously hate projects. no more comments. i'd rather 10 booklets of FA1 tutorials to do than 1 project. i'm serious. and no more essays after the 5 weeks of torture please. essay writing is not my kind of thing. i miss the view from fourth floor with jiaxin sitting beside me. and the days when i can communicate with raymond. having english lessons with sabina staring at us was funny too. the number of times going out with the gang is getting lesser and lesser. the last time they went out and i couldnt make it because of the stupid econs which have to start at 2pm when FA1 ends at 11am. there are so many things and times and people i miss. i want to keep in touch with people like weichuan and liujun but it's like impossible now. they have their own friends and i couldn't even contact weichuan the time when i tried to. they were my primary school best friends. at least we were best friends once. hope you guys are getting along well with your classmates. i want to ask liujun and yuting out someday. it's been a long long time. my life is really very uninteresting at the moment (other than taekwondo). i need to improve. but at this point of time, too many things are running through my head. i miss air rifle. i miss the super tough and hot trainings in the range, our range. jun jie sometimes will sms random stuffs and i will be reminded of air rifle. it's been a long time since our last outing right! i used to be the one organising outings in primary school times but then i've become lazier. it's really ultra troublesome to organise something. during those times, i guess i was over excited. now, i'm like immune. there are a lot of people who are imperfect but there really is nobody who is perfect. why? because everyone has different opinions, different point of view, they look at things differently. anyway, human beings are human beings. i don't have to say much. and i'm still not feeling very good. when it was time to leave temasek, i really didn't want to leave at all. how i wish everyone could just stay there and do the same things forever. i love 4i. i love air rifle. it's because of the people (mostly) of coz. look at the bright side, today's thursday and i'll have taekwondo (after projects discussions). if we finish early, i might be able to play runescape in the library. there's nothing much for me to do anyway, unless i can find jiaxin. at least tomorrow's friday. CCN day would be enjoyable i guess. i dont have to wake up at 8 in the morning and go for FA. hope i can leave the stall early and i seriously hope you guys can leave early too. if not, how are we gonna watch the movie? i need a break. a kit kat bar isn't too bad. i miss drinking my favourite coffee. i haven't been drinking that because i don't want to not be able to fall asleep. what can i do, what can i say. nothing's gonna change isn't it. what i can do is to move on, just move on. i'm tired, physically, but i'm very sober mentally. how i wish we can start off our day during night time and sleep in the day.

after i wake up, well, here comes a brand new day. make life more exciting each day!