Whenever I see or think of this "Light", I would be reminded of him. Something happened today.

It's like. Everything happened so fast. I even forgot how it happened. Vaguely, I remember him telling me what CS said. "I would like her rather than her" the second 'her', is ME. Anyway, I DONT CARE. CS is just another human being. I tried being nice to him. REAL NICE LA wth but guess what. He returned my niceness with what. Hostility. What an ass. Okay, he's better now I admit. But I don't really want to have ANYTHING to do with him. AT THIS PT OF TIME.

So as I was saying, it practically zoomed past. He was asking why we pretent to be together, as in, together. I don't know. I didn't know. I didn't know how to answer. I still don't know. It was cs's idea, but I don't know. What was I thinking?? All's not well. He told me during English and asked me about it. He looked really pissed at that moment. I don't know about now. Don't think so. I know, he's sort of hurt. He was saying. 'I have never lied to you about anything. But you actually lied to me.' I know. At first I dunno what's the point of faking a relationship with cs. Later on, though, I felt that maybe shouldn't let him or her know --- coz she'll tell him --- so that maybe his relationship with her would not waver, I mean, would be stronger.

FeelingS. It's sort of unpredictable. I treated him quite badly, though I didn't think I did. Still, he, you know. As I look back, no. It began since last year, though I don't know how it began. So, he treated me this and that, bought me something I love too. I don't know. I just treated him differently. So different I'm puzzled. Sort of. My words often contain THORNS. Words I speak to him. I know it, after I've spoken them that is. Think Before You Speak. What is this phrase for?!

He's hurt coz I lied to him I supposed. Though those words were half-lie. The moment when I said I don't even know why I fake, he really showed me that he wasn't at all happy. I know I would feel the same. If someone were to treat me like that, when I treated him/her so nicely...

Details, details, details. I guess writing details is good in writing compositions, eSp. Chinese ones. Perhaps, it is because I don't know how to express myself in lesser VOCABS. Yes, that's it.

Feelings. They're just so complicated.

I LOVE ALL MY FRENZ!

adeline,jiemin,jovita,florence,cheryl,jewel. you guys are such nice ppl and GREAT FRENZ!
accompanied me through loneliness, enlightened me with your knowledge, brought me a SMILE on my face. love YA! =)

samuel, gabriel, eeyen, benjamin, jianwen?, AIDAN. wonderful frenZ you guys have been.
samuel, for those wonderful times i've had playing pool, and yr church rox! you rock too!
gabriel, for the care and concern and accompanying me when i was bored. you rock!
eeyen, for the crappy phone calls and agreeing to acc me to the concert! you rock!!!
ben, for all the wonderful times u have provided me with. i doubt i can forget. you rock! =)
jianwen. for the dotA and cs that i had fun playing. and e craziness in yr 'Hi' today.
aidan. for all the fun, joy, laughter u've brought us, i'll nvr forget. and yr AIDA at the back of 2/3. thought of you while writing Chinese Ying Yong Wen Si Han. you rock!
LOVE ALL of YOU!!!!!!

and my mother and father, i love you!
though i would never say it in your faces, i love you. =)



Am I sentimental or I simply can't let go?


Think before you Speak.
For that's what I ought to do.


The Law. Confused. Still.